I have known the city council watchdog for 30ish years which predates (2011), Twitter/X (2006), [The] Facebook (2004), The Palm Pilot (1996), Internet Explorer (1995) and that scroll wheel on your mouse (1995). Putting it in that context, the watchdog has known me for 30ish years and I have known him most of my life.

Over that time, I have picked him as my chosen mentor and it has been an honor to write and continue to write for the website. While my content has not been focused on Naperville City Council and their frequent shenanigans, I have enjoyed writing and posting in the watchdog’s stead.

I have learned as a mentee some of the below Watchdog-isms over time. I wanted to share some with you in no particular order. This is not an all inclusive list and you can expect additional in the future. While this list isn’t claimed to be 100% original, it is 100% authentic.

  • A pill is perfectly round. Your Tylenol is not a pill but most likely a capsule, tablet perhaps suppository but certainly not a pill
  • If better is possible, good is not enough
  • It is considered improper to end a sentence in a preposition.
    • Instead of “What are you sitting on?”, say something like:
      • “On what are you sitting?” or the alternative
      • “What are you sitting on, bubble-head?”
  • Best way to eat an elephant (metaphorical), one bite at a time
  • The golden rule is “Treat others the way you would like to be treated”
  • The REAL golden rule is “he/she who has the gold, makes the rules”
  • When it comes to presenting a new business concept to the city of Naperville to help residents, ask forgiveness and not permission
  • Why do something later, if you can do it now? There is a reason it is called the present, it is a gift
  • Under-promise and over-deliver
  • You can say one thing about the Cubs, they are consistent (exceptions of 1907, 1908 and 2016)
  • Keep your sense of humor
    • “Of all the weddings I have attended, most of them have been mine”
  • Take the best and leave the rest
  • Ninety percent of the people you meet don’t care about your troubles. The other 10 percent are glad you have them.
  • Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime
  • Always leave a place, like a conference room, better than you found it.
  • Discretionary effort is rarely exerted but most often appreciated
  • Honesty is the policy
  • If you’re on-time, you’re late (Lombardi time)
  • If you find a toilet in your dream, don’t use it
  • If you are not happy where you are, move. You are not a tree.
  • A gallon of water weighs 8.8 pounds
  • Trust but verify
  • In the world of coupons, big print giveth and small print taketh away
  • If a coupon has an expiration date near the edge, a pair of scissors can make the coupon last forever
  • When it comes to stains in your clothes, the best way to get the stain out is with a pair of scissors
  • When eating at Panda Express, go in full-knowing you want the honey-walnut shrimp. Ask for a sample and then order it. You just got yourself a free shrimp my friend
    • This might be more of a life-hack than a piece of advice
  • There’s no I in “Team”, but there is an I in “Win”
  • “TARGET” or “target” depending on which you drive past, used to have no music for what the CEO at the time said to give the customer another unique in-store shopping experience. Now, not so much.
  • The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing
  • Let the buyer beware
  • Occam’s razor is a principal that states “the simplest explanation is preferable to one that is more complex”
  • The only constant in life is change
  • Don’t make snow angels in a dog park
  • If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans
  • Dentist’s favorite time of day: 2:30 (tooth-hurty)
  • When someone asks, “How are you” you can reply “Any better and it would be illegal”
  • Don’t take a long walk on a short pier

If maybe one of these made you smile, I’m glad. Reminiscing on each one, made me smile each time.

“A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself” – Ferris Bueller

Eamus Catuli!

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