Naperville Star Wars

Each year around this time downtown Naperville is flooded with Star Wars fans checking out the many characters walking about dressed in the popular movie’s garb. It’s a fun tradition that makes us wonder, if they cast a Naperville version of Star Wars who would star in the film?

Let’s give it a try:

Obi Wan Kanobi would be played by Mayor Wehrli. Wise and well tempered. Wehrli is a natural fit here.

Han Solo would be played by Josh McBroom. McBroom is the maverick of this council. We need to hang a set of dice off his microphone.

Luke Skywalker would be played by Nate Wilson. Both are young, honest brokers and consummate good guys.

Princess Leia would be played by Jennifer Taylor. Taylor is similarly feisty and usually walking on the good side of the Force.

Lando Calrissian would be played by Benny White. Both dress sharp and look good on TV.

C3PO would be played by Patrick Kelly. Both are smart, skinny, and kinda dweeby.

Bobba Fett would be played by Alison Longenbaugh only because we suspect she would have no problem putting McBroom into carbon freeze and selling him to highest bidder.

Darth Vader would be played Ian Holzhauer. Holzhauer is the bad guy of this council after throwing his colleagues under the bus on numerous occasions. We have to assume the Death Star would be exempt from real estate taxes in this rendition of the film.

Yoda would be played by Paul Leong. Admittedly Leong is too tall for this role but he is similarly wise. He doesn’t say much but makes an impact when he does.

For good measure, we’ll cast the League of Women Voters as the stormtroopers. These pretenders are always doing Vader’s bidding and regularly storm council chambers with political positions from the Dark Side of the Force.

We’ll cast local Republican groups as the Ewoks. These oft-bumbling and clumsy groups have taken more than their share of lumps in recent years yet somehow managed to see a number of their favored candidates win in the last Naperville election cycle.

We will see in less than 12 months whether or not Ewok Village will again go crazy in celebration of more victories or if Darth Vader and the stormtroopers prevail and reign over a politically conquered Naperville.

Show 9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Mark Urda

    In a previous post that the author chose not to publish, I stated that this blog should be renamed City Council Conservative Cheerleader. If there was ever any doubt about the unbalanced and biased view of this blog, this fantasy post has clearly demonstrated the cheerleader not the watchdog view of this blog. I do miss the previous writer who actually on occasion provided objective and thoughtful perspectives.

    • Watchdog Admin

      Comments that do not speak to the article but only toss around insults and allegations usually will not be approved. We approved this one despite it clearly fitting into the pointless dim personal attack category. The political leanings of the watchdog are irrelevant. Make a point or set forth an argument with your comments please and we will happily approve your posts.

    • Mark Urda

      Thank you for approving the post and I am truly sorry that you took it as an insulting personal attack. I can assure that was not my intent but rather to highlight the incredible fanboy nature of your blog. As you request here are direct comments on this post. Ian as Darth Vader, Nate Wilson as Luke Skywalker and lastly Paul Leong as Yoda are as ridiculous as they are absurd. Ian is not evil, Nate and Paul are best known for their silence from dias and not action or wisdom. These are my observations and opinions only and nothing more.

      • Watchdog Admin

        Saying less on the dais should be applauded not condemned. The meetings go long enough with politician bloviating. The watchdog has always had favorites and has critiqued every councilmen one way or the other for well over a decade. The bias appears to be yours.

  2. Sam Nelson

    Mcbroom would be a better Luke
    Skywalker because he’s so whiney.

  3. Naperville's Northern Liberation Front

    Star Wars? Puh-lease. Naperville City Council is more akin to the lovable, bumbling “let’s put on a show” of Spanky and Our Gang, or the angsty whininess and lack of purpose of The Breakfast Club. Let’s approach every issue, carry on and try to sound meaningful, and then table it to consideration under committee in private session. Strong Manager/Weak Council has always been the recipe for poor City management in cities where the population actually gives a hoot. Keep our elected officials on very short leashes, and beholden to nobody but the folks that put them in office.

  4. Jim Haselhorst

    First off there are no such things as private committee meetings in this state. If you actually knew anything about how our city government works you would already know this.

    All city committees, boards, commissions etc are part of the function of the mayor’s office not city council and are advisory in nature, only city council has governing authority. The mayor appoints all members and the council only approves these appointments.

    Further all of these members are volunteer that work on these committees, board, etc without compensation. And all of these committees, etc are required to comply with the States Open meetings act, which means close session meetings have to met very strict state guidelines and are still subject to federal FOIA regulations.

    As to strong manager/weak council. The city manager is actually selected and appointed by the city council. The City Council can fire the City Manager at anytime if they feel its needed. The City Manager’s authority is limited by City Charter and State Law and must have city council approval for all actions taken. Proof of this is the hundreds of time in the last decade when the city council voted against the City Manager on issue concerning city governance. Again this is something that anyone who actually understand how our city government works, would already know.

    Perhaps you should take the time to learn how our city government actually operates before posting about it.

    • Naperville's Northern Liberation Front

      Sorry my two degrees in Political Science don’t agree with your interesting take on reality. When our Council tables any discussion that isn’t pure sycophantic self-aggrandizing, for discussion “with staff”, “refer to outside experts”, or “gather feedback” while they wait for the lights to turn off on their shenanigans and get back to back room dealings and sweetheart contracts. Twenty four years of watching this august body closely in their public performances, has shown me that they are much more a group of narcissists who want camera time to advance themselves, while studiously avoiding any accountability back to the People. Any concept of policy-making is handed off to consultants and the loudest follower of whatever is the crisis du jour, the recent flirtation with hundreds of thousands of dollars in combating the “systemic racism” that we have so graciously charged with from the dias. My understanding was that once our Mayor grovelled in the dirt with the Antifia Insurrectionists on his knees we were absolved. Then we are stuck for decades crafting a new Master Plan for one single parcel of land, and then wait exactly 9 days before we start making exemptions to that planning to benefit businesses run by various Councilmembers.

      But please, enlighten us how this dysfunctional gang of neighborhood bullies, clueless outsiders and angry racist Karen’s’ is making our City more like Star Wars than a group of emotionally immature, angsty, spoiled suburban brats like either of my candidates for the film chosen. That was the actual topic here, before somebody hijacked it for his own agenda…

  5. Jim Haselhorst

    Well, I will just start my response by telling you about a civil engineering grad I knew in school (University of Colorado, Boulder). This guy was on academic probation for 4 of the 8 seminars he attended college. He graduated with a GPA that was the lowest possible and still graduate, just .01 lower and he would not have graduated. So, yes it is possible to get a degree without being very competent or knowledgeable in the area the school issued you a degree in.

    The reality is that, studies have shown, about 30% of the people that go to college aren’t any better off then if they hadn’t gone. They did not “grow” academically or emotionally during their 4 years of college anymore then the would have had they just gotten a job straight out the high school.

    As any college graduate learns, employers only use things like academic performance to “thin the herd” of applicants. Ultimately they know they can train any college grad to do the job they want, they just want to pick people that will be easiest to train. College grads don’t gain any real value as individuals until after their first job.

    As to “interesting take on reality” I will refer you back to your own post which is more of a anti-establishment rant then rational dialog on how city government operates. In fact most of what you claim the city does would actually be a violation of the state’s Open Meeting law. So what you need to do is contact the state and provide them with the detail evidence you have documenting these violations of state law.

    Yeah, I know, you’re just going wimp out on this by saying something about the state “conspiring” with the city and they won’t do anything. But the state will do something if actual violations have occurred, just like the state did with the cities of Cicero, Northbrook, Robins, etc and are currently doing with Dalton.

    The delusional, angry and fixated nature of your post is not healthy, have you considered getting some professional help? You know like the way the city seeks professional help from consults when it finds itself dealing with situations it is unable to resolve on its own.

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