Regulating Is Fun

If you enjoy telling other people what to do, is there anything more fun than being a politician. What possibly can be more fun than passing ordinances and wielding the hammer of regulation. Imagine being a city council member with nothing to regulate. That would be a nightmare. Being a Walmart greeter would be more satisfying; telling people to put on a mask!

Try to imagine the energized discussions and debates in the following communities concerning these goofy Illinois laws:

• Bloomington: don’t ever order a bottle of water at a bar and try to walk out of the place with it. It’s also against the law to feed birds if you live within a mile of the downtown square.
• Chicago: it was forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.
• Decatur: it’s against the law to drive a car without a steering wheel.
• Galesburg: no ‘fancy riding’ a bicycle on any city street. Additionally there is a $1,000 fine for beating rats with a baseball bat. Apparently, it’s OK to use a softball bat.
• Horner: it’s against the law to use a slingshot unless you are a law enforcement officer. Must have been fun times.
• Joliet: there was a time a driver had to contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. Also mispronouncing something was a misdemeanor. Harry Caray would have had a problem in Joliet.
• Kenilworth: a rooster had to be 300 feet from any residence in order to crow. A prime market for tape measures.
• Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village, or through any of the streets. The Naperville city council might like this one.
• Lincoln: you can be ticketed if you park 13 inches from the curb. Another great town for selling tape measures.
• Moline: ice skating during the months of June, July and August is a no-no.
• Mt. Pulaski: Boys could throw snowballs but girls couldn’t. No word about transgenders.
• Normal: it was illegal to make soap unless you had a snow-making license. That doesn’t seem normal.

Given a sufficient amount of time, anything that can happen, will happen. Ample opportunity for the Naperville city council to get into the action.