The one-line joke goes like this, “I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.” Considering tonight is game seven for the Chicago Blackhawks versus Detroit Red Wings, the over-used one-line hockey joke is timely.
It’s also timely when the city of Naperville is continuing to increase the number of liquor licenses approved at city council meetings, in light of the fact that downtown Naperville is becoming synonymous with late-night fight activities in downtown bars.
Never fear though, because city officials have figured out a way for those fight-night bars to no longer have brawls, dust-ups, and all-around mayhem flow from the confines of Naperville establishments into the streets. The solution is simple; just change the name of the bar and put a new owner in charge.
The late-night fight spot formerly known as BlackFinn will be changing its name to something more appropriate like ‘Blue Gil’, or ‘Black & Blue Eye’, and a change of ownership should fix the problem just as it did for the Chicago Cubs when ownership went from Wrigley, to the Chicago Tribune, to the Ricketts family. Three owners and no World Series since 1945, and no World Series win since 1908. Seems to have worked for all us Cubbie fans.
Changing a bar’s name and ownership at best simply moves the offenders from one establishment to another. Look at downtown Naperville’s bars as apartments in a building. When the exterminator comes to rid an apartment of pests, the pests simply go to another apartment. Continuing to add more and more liquor licenses in a confined area, simply increases the probability of more mayhem to surface.
Considering Naperville city officials haven’t seen a new liquor license application they don’t like, other solutions need to be considered. One solution could be to require all individuals to rent a city-issued hard-hat when entering the downtown area after 5pm. That’s a guaranteed money-make for the city. Another possibility would be to have armed Naperville police officers at the entrance of each bar, similar to what city officials did to residents at city council meetings when the topic of Smart Meters was on the agenda.
Who knows, maybe changing the name of a bar will work. It worked when Naperville city officials eliminated the ‘homeless’ problem by changing the name to ‘street dwellers.